1. 8-5 Monotony: Who says we all need to work exactly 8 hours a day for five days a week for maximum productivity? Within these set hours? Now, I can wake up at five and do some Photoshopping if I feel like it or sleep deliciously in until 9 if the sun is not out yet. I just follow my body’s natural rhythm and get whatever work that needs to be done (hey, reluctant housewives DO work still!) when I am the most energetic. And it usually does not take 8 hours a day, as Patrick can gladly attest. Americans have grueling hours for the sake of setting hours!
2. 1-hour Lunches: I eat my biggest meal of the day during noontime and trying to fit a large and relaxing meal into the corporate schedule just leaves icky gas bubbles in my stomach. We need time to rest and digest midday so I’ll go with our European friends on this one and take my daily siesta, thank you very much.
3. Mandatory Meetings: Meetings for what? To allow others to speak and feel important? Sure, we all create our agendas and make these big action plans during these meetings but nothing usually happens after we all sit down and talk about it. Except that I am left with an extra wrinkle fold around my eyes trying so hard to keep them open during the snooze fest.
4. Asking Permission to Take a Holiday: I never realized how restricted I was with my year until now that I can compare the flexibility I have with when I can just take off and go somewhere versus Patrick who is bound to his company’s timeline of when it is okay to take his yearly vacation. We constantly need a break, a chance to go see something new, to indulge in the exotic and luxurious, and hell if I’m waiting until I’m 65. And those poor corporate souls who get, like, 15 days a year so they cram all of their vacationing into one trip. Just sounds like a good way to get even more burnt out.
5. Having to Work With Others: Teamwork can lead to powerful things but once in a while, I don’t want someone to have to approve of my articles or “give me their thoughts” on what they think of my design for something. Sometimes, I did things just the way I wanted to and if people would just let me fully carry out the vision in my head with no disruption, my idea just might work.
6. Dealing with Power Trippers: You know what I am talking about and we all have had our fair share of encounters with THE POWER TRIPPERS. These are the control freaks/insecure/narcissistic/I-don’t-have-anything-else-going-for-me people in the office that validate their existences by power tripping all over those of us that couldn’t care less about the petty things. But OMG are they annoying to navigate through on a day-to-day basis.
7. Constantly Pretending That You Are Working: If anyone truly works on company-relevant projects all 8 hours that you are
8. Having to Play Nice and Be All PC About Everything: I am so over putting a smiley face on every internal email that I send out just in case someone will “take things the wrong way.” Now, I put smileys on things I am truy happy about, not as a means to prevent someone’s feelings for getting hurt because I didn’t have time to add a disclaimer somewhere in the email that THESE ARE ONLY MY SUGGESTIONS and EVERYTHING IS OKAY and WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS AFTER WE ARE DONE WITH THIS PROJECT.
9. Solving Someone Else’s Emotional Critical: While working in customer service, I constantly dealt with clients whose world’s were ending because our product didn’t work for a half second and now I need to solve the mathematical framework of quantum physics and provide an answer as to why his/her daughter wasn’t asked to senior prom. Or better yet, seeing an internal employee flipping out over an issue that maybe I contributed an ounce to so now I am tasked with finding an end-all solution for them while still being the lowest paid person in the company. Gaw!
10. Everyone Is ALWAYS Complaining: If it is not about their bosses or coworkers it is their workload or how busy they are. I’ve never, NEVER, heard someone say, “Hey, I’m actually having a pretty good day and I am thankful for my job and the things I am working on are actually quite fun and interesting” instead of “I can’t believe my boss doesn’t see how stupid Sue is and why I am always the one getting stuck doing all of the work and I am up to here working on things and I have a master’s degree, for crying out loud, so why I am still doing everyone else’s leftover data entry?!!?!”
You are free to add to the list or dispute any of my points in the comments section. Now off to a champagne breakfast and masseuse appointment! Er, off to cuddling with the babes in bed but that’s just as good, if not better. ☺ (And I really mean the smiley.)