Wednesday, August 25, 2010

10 Reasons Why I Do Not Miss the Office Space

I may seem spacey sometimes but I am not all that delusional as I do know that I currently live in La La Land and at some point I will need to re-enter the dreaded “real world” again. But that time is not today as King’s daddy is a good man by letting me stay at home and pick at my toe nails all day so let’s take a look at some of the things I am glad I left behind in the corporate world, shall we?

1. 8-5 Monotony: Who says we all need to work exactly 8 hours a day for five days a week for maximum productivity? Within these set hours? Now, I can wake up at five and do some Photoshopping if I feel like it or sleep deliciously in until 9 if the sun is not out yet. I just follow my body’s natural rhythm and get whatever work that needs to be done (hey, reluctant housewives DO work still!) when I am the most energetic. And it usually does not take 8 hours a day, as Patrick can gladly attest. Americans have grueling hours for the sake of setting hours!

2. 1-hour Lunches: I eat my biggest meal of the day during noontime and trying to fit a large and relaxing meal into the corporate schedule just leaves icky gas bubbles in my stomach. We need time to rest and digest midday so I’ll go with our European friends on this one and take my daily siesta, thank you very much.

3. Mandatory Meetings: Meetings for what? To allow others to speak and feel important? Sure, we all create our agendas and make these big action plans during these meetings but nothing usually happens after we all sit down and talk about it. Except that I am left with an extra wrinkle fold around my eyes trying so hard to keep them open during the snooze fest.

4. Asking Permission to Take a Holiday: I never realized how restricted I was with my year until now that I can compare the flexibility I have with when I can just take off and go somewhere versus Patrick who is bound to his company’s timeline of when it is okay to take his yearly vacation. We constantly need a break, a chance to go see something new, to indulge in the exotic and luxurious, and hell if I’m waiting until I’m 65. And those poor corporate souls who get, like, 15 days a year so they cram all of their vacationing into one trip. Just sounds like a good way to get even more burnt out.

5. Having to Work With Others: Teamwork can lead to powerful things but once in a while, I don’t want someone to have to approve of my articles or “give me their thoughts” on what they think of my design for something. Sometimes, I did things just the way I wanted to and if people would just let me fully carry out the vision in my head with no disruption, my idea just might work.

6. Dealing with Power Trippers: You know what I am talking about and we all have had our fair share of encounters with THE POWER TRIPPERS. These are the control freaks/insecure/narcissistic/I-don’t-have-anything-else-going-for-me people in the office that validate their existences by power tripping all over those of us that couldn’t care less about the petty things. But OMG are they annoying to navigate through on a day-to-day basis.

7. Constantly Pretending That You Are Working: If anyone truly works on company-relevant projects all 8 hours that you are in prison in the office space, then I will give you my head AND my first-born son to boot. So why are we all still pretending that we are only writing proposals and sending client emails when we all have that hidden Facebook or screen minimized that will be pulled up the moment your boss is out of the room? Pretending to be busy is such a waste of time and life and I relish in shamelessly Internet surfing without having to keep a mirror on my monitor.

8. Having to Play Nice and Be All PC About Everything: I am so over putting a smiley face on every internal email that I send out just in case someone will “take things the wrong way.” Now, I put smileys on things I am truy happy about, not as a means to prevent someone’s feelings for getting hurt because I didn’t have time to add a disclaimer somewhere in the email that THESE ARE ONLY MY SUGGESTIONS and EVERYTHING IS OKAY and WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS AFTER WE ARE DONE WITH THIS PROJECT.

9. Solving Someone Else’s Emotional Critical: While working in customer service, I constantly dealt with clients whose world’s were ending because our product didn’t work for a half second and now I need to solve the mathematical framework of quantum physics and provide an answer as to why his/her daughter wasn’t asked to senior prom. Or better yet, seeing an internal employee flipping out over an issue that maybe I contributed an ounce to so now I am tasked with finding an end-all solution for them while still being the lowest paid person in the company. Gaw!

10. Everyone Is ALWAYS Complaining: If it is not about their bosses or coworkers it is their workload or how busy they are. I’ve never, NEVER, heard someone say, “Hey, I’m actually having a pretty good day and I am thankful for my job and the things I am working on are actually quite fun and interesting” instead of “I can’t believe my boss doesn’t see how stupid Sue is and why I am always the one getting stuck doing all of the work and I am up to here working on things and I have a master’s degree, for crying out loud, so why I am still doing everyone else’s leftover data entry?!!?!”

You are free to add to the list or dispute any of my points in the comments section. Now off to a champagne breakfast and masseuse appointment! Er, off to cuddling with the babes in bed but that’s just as good, if not better. ☺ (And I really mean the smiley.)

the long road


  1. I couldn't agree more...with like every single word you just wrote. I can't wait to leave corporate America. So many people say they don't think I'll know what to do with myself - I can think of a gazillion other things I'd rather be doing.

  2. um, who is getting 15 days of vacation a year? i want their job!

  3. I think it would be the same here in the UK, love this shot a nice capture

  4. This post had me nodding and laughing!! After having dedicated 15 years to the corporate world (because I had really wanted the corner office with the view), I am so glad to be out. I had my share of fun, don't get me wrong, but now that I have children, all the perks seem trivial compared to the perks of parenthood. (Oh, yeah maybe I might miss my own pay check. Just a little bit. Just a teensy-weensy bit.)

  5. I think we can ALL relate to this...when I worked at CBS we were really only super busy towards the end of the month but the rest of the time I had to shuffle paper around, just because. Now that I make my own hours doing consulting work I can work at 6am or 9pm if I feel like it. I love it.

    Now I only need to figure out how to get paid like I did at CBS! :)

    PS - I don't mean that smiley face, just being PC.

  6. LOL yeah buckeroomama and ameena, the one thing i do miss is the PAYCHECK! so now let's figure out how to get paid by just being us. haha.

  7. I was just thinking about how I wish I could do blogging full-time since I missed absolutely NOTHING of the 9 to 5 grind.

    City Girl to Country Girl

  8. Fabulous list!! And a wonderful picture too!

  9. I totally agree with your list, particularly #3, because i am in meetings all.the.time. nice b&w shot!

  10. When I left my job in (of all things...ugh) finance I've never looked back. HATE meetings, HATE clients, LOVE making my own schedule, LOVE spending the morning playing with play-doh.

    Here from FF, happy friday (saturday!)

  11. AMEN!!! I've been home for almost 8 years now and reading your post made remember how lucky I am to be FREE of all that crap. It's definitely a trade off, but one I would do again and again. Nothing compares to being free of office politics. Visiting from MBC...stumbled you.

    Have a great weekend!
    Jen Maddox

  12. OMG! Love this! I too have been outta the Corporate madness for a lil over a year and while it hasent always been easy, its been well worth it. Adding you to my RSS feed lol

  13. Great list! It seems like work, everywhere, is the exact same...

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