Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I’m quitting Facebook.

And this time I mean it.

1. Just because everyone is doing it doesn’t make it the right thing to do for me. So what if I am the only person in the universe who doesn’t have a facebook account? I’m sure I’ll survive.

2. I want a life. A real life. And real friends. Right now it says I have 1020 friends but how many of you will I actually invite to my wedding? Maybe 50. So why is there such a discrepancy?

3. Oh wait, Facebook does not reflect how many true friends I have because I use it purely as a social networking tool. But then there are people who DO see Facebook as an accurate reflection of how many people matter in their lives and continue to cull and weed at their lists. I don’t have time to constantly be managing all of my friends. For those of you who have unfriended me, thank you for taking YOUR time to do so.

4. I don’t care about what you ate for breakfast, how many emails you have in your inbox, what Farmville animals you have, who you are in a relationship with and then not again…if I did want to know, I would have called you to ask by now.

5. It’s called the Low-Information Diet folks. I can hardly retain any information anymore because most things I come across are absolutely useless. And Facebook status updates are high on the list #1 on the list of useless things in my life.

6. But I am definitely guilty as charged. I used to be SOO against Facebook in college but when I finally jumped on the bandwagon, I whored myself out, friended everyone I’ve known since I was two, and posted tons of irrelevant information through your feeds. For that, I am sorry.

7. I don’t have time to sort through everyone’s updates, links, videos, and photo albums to discover that one gem that will actually be useful/inspirational to me. If there is something that I am really missing out on because of Facebook, I am sure the people I do talk to everyday will fill me in.

8. For people that are really judgmental and get offended easily, you probably are convinced by now that I am a soulless person who has no social life and does not like people in general. Thank you for being another reason why I need to eliminate, not accumulate, in life.

9. On that note, Facebook contributes to the more is more American philosophy. Collecting friends, virtual gifts, and wall posts does not validate me as a person or attribute to my success as a living, breathing human.

10. Anyone that I need/want to get in touch with I will be able to contact you. People were able to communicate and stay in touch before the Internet, I promise.

11. I will continue my blog because it is a fun space for me to write, post pictures, make meaningful and beneficial connections with like-minded people, keep family updated, and dilly dally about being a reluctant housewife. I love that people are reading and I welcome all comments (and I will visit your blog too and put it on my daily blogroll if I like it) but my motivation now is to worry less about Google Analytics and more about developing my voice as a writer and artist.

12. For friends that want to check in on me, you can always find me here. And I am the most all-inclusive/non-standoffish person you can ever meet so email, text, call…I will respond.

13. I don’t want to worry about how to fit into 140 characters that I am eating a petit filet mignon at Mastro’s or figure out how to post a picture right away on Facebook of the rooftop swimming pool at our hotel in Vegas. I just want to really live and relish the moment.

14. This goes for Twitter too. I don’t use it, never really figured out how to, and quite frankly don’t care enough to try anymore.

15. I want to take away all the noise in my life that could possibly detract from a life well-lived and focus on things that actually contribute to the growth of personal and communal spirit, intellect, development, and happiness.

16. Calculated and intentional networking is KEY but having x number of Facebook friends that you can't help or provide resources for who can't do the same for you is not networking.

Like I said, the blog is still here and I love everything that has come from it so far. If you are interested in motherhood, pregnancy, man/woman relationships (which I will bring into regular discussion soon), photography, my misadventures as a wedding photographer, all that I’ve seen and learned from the corporate world during my short 2-year stint working as a minion, Photoshop how-to’s, reluctant housewife-ness, and stories straight from the heart of Los Angeles, then you know you can find my take on these things in my posts. I DO want to get to know you, but only if you really want to know me too, and I look forward to building a genuine life and community outside of logging into my Facebook account everyday.

Good night.


35 comments:

  1. I am having the same thought for a couple of days now. It's a bit odd to see someone else say the same things at the same time I must admit.

    Drop the noise eh, I'm sure it will be much better. Kudos!

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  2. thanks. i am not saying facebook is the devil (or any social media tools) but i have a few revelations lately that made me realize it does not work for me. i spend too much time maintaining my facebook image and reading through a bunch of irrelevant stuff and not enough time focused on go after the things i actually want in life.

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  3. You said a lot of what I have been feeling. Facebook makes unhappy times in your life harder to forget and magnifies your insecurities. I want to weed it out of my life.

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  4. Christine, I know you only from working with you for a very short time at Coffee Bean. I completely understand if you un-friend me on facebook, considering we have never communicated on that website. But i just wanted to let you know that I accidentally stumbled onto your blog on facebook and have been reading it recently, and I think it's one of the best blogs out on the blog-o-sphere. I find it extremely real, inspiring, and beautiful. Just wanted to shout that out. -Anya

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  5. FB is pretty much useless. the MAIN reason I use it is to keep in touch with my folks who live nearly 2,000 miles away from me.
    All the rest of my friends are a bonus.
    SIGH.
    Have fun doing whatever you do. :)

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  6. I think that this article has come to me at a perfect time! I struggle daily with the information overload and trying to keep up with everyone on FB. I recently defriended someone on my FB account and when they found out acted as if I had personally insulted them although we rarely have any contact outside of FB and even that is minimal. Living a life well-lived is exactly what I've been wanting for myself and this will not include FB anymore.

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  7. You are making me think. I think that most people use it as a competition to see who can have the most friends. It is a hard one for me as I have moved a TON in my life and it has allowed me to friend people I have not seen in 20+ years and I have kept in contact with them and actually traveled to meet up with some.

    But there are a lot of friends on there that I don't talk to. May have to change up the way I use FB. Thanks!

    BTW: I am your newest follower from MBC and just grabbed your button to post on all 3 of my blogs. I hope that you will follow me and grab my buttons back!

    Thanks for making me think.

    my blogs:
    http://tawnasplan.blogspot.com my personal weight loss blog

    http://btrbb.blogspot.com just another "mommy" blog

    http://tawnassecret.blogspot.com my journey to help me think more positively in my life.

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  8. I suppose if I were ever feeling like Facebook or Twitter was eating my life, I'd do the same. Good for you for taking care of yourself. For me, they're just tools that take up a couple minutes a day, but I've definitely seen people become overattached to them.

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  9. Amen to this! I only recently (in the last month) established a Facebook account because everyone attempting to be a published author is supposed to have one. It still confuses me but I can't be bothered to learn the ins and outs of it.

    It is a total time suck and I don't have enough time as it is! I'd much rather be reading my favorite blogs (yours included).

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  10. facebook is what you make of it. do what is right for you and live life to the fullest! (for some people, living life to the fullest means having a well-established online social networking identity.)

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  11. hi senere @ mom food. i can't find your blog link.
    i admit fully that the reason why i am going off FB is my inability to detach from those types of social media tools. i want to let go of all crutches in life and focus on the things that i want to do and experience.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love it because when I put pictures on I get instant feedback : ) and that makes me smile. And I hate it because it IS a time waster, I DO feel like a loser when I don't have as many friends as the next person AND I feel like a LOSER for even caring how many facebook friends I have! Can't understand twitter for the life of me! Good for you!

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  13. Sorry it took you so long to find my blog link. Did you click my blogger profile?
    You know when you click my name on the comment..that should lead you to my blog...
    :)
    Anyhoo, FB is annoying...but I'm not ready to leave it yet, mainly cause of the family link it gives me.

    Everyone else is a bonus.

    :)

    Sorry you could not figure out Twitter. It took ME FOREVER to figure it out too.
    Now that I got it, I can't stop tweeting.
    i might need an intervention soon. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love your honesty... makes me laugh out loud the things you wrote!

    "I don’t care about what you ate for breakfast, how many emails you have in your inbox, what Farmville animals you have, who you are in a relationship with and then not again…"

    Oh, you forgot to mention those who want you to "friend" them when you don't even know who they are...

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  15. hi buckeroomama, yes i know abou those mysterious friends who you share no mutual friends with who live in dubai.

    but again, i am guilty as charged as i have friended some pretty random people too (esp fellow photogs). :/

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  16. Look, there's a lot of people around the world that aren't fortunate enough to have a Facebook, so it's just a slap in the face to delete yours. Suck it up

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  17. Yes, I know the feeling. It can be addictive LOL
    I am your new follower. You can visit me at http://showmemama.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  18. Y.E.S.!!! I recently wrote a post about facebook too. I don't know what it is, I used to dig it but now...it's just too much. I'm on a facebook vacation. I haven't deleted my profile, but I don't log it. So far it's 2 months and strong. If people stopped using it for invitations to birthday parties and such I think I could possible kick the habit for good. But your post said everything that I feel.

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  19. i wish i could do that and stick to my word. but i keep on re-activating it.

    i previously made a post about deleting my facebook too

    http://imissyouhotcakes.blogspot.com/2010/08/good-bye-facebook.html

    but after a few days i had to reactivate it .. it maybe also because my dad was asking where my facebook was (it's his way to keep track of me) lol


    well ... there are indeed pros and cons...

    i guess its just really how we use the "power" and how responsible we are in this network

    thanks to blogging.

    im not stuck with facebook 24 hours.


    and i've recently deleted ALL MY WALL POSTS

    lol

    lesser information .. the better...

    ReplyDelete
  20. Michael,
    ...........

    show me mama,
    thanks for the follow and i will be sure to swing by your place.

    we hate you. love, us,
    interesting blog name. yes last night after i had made this huge proclamation that i am done with facebook, i did think about all the peaople that i do still keep in touch with via facebook but it's something i will get rid of all together later today. good job in freeing yourself as well!

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  21. hi hotcakes,

    but isn't managing your page such a hassle? and having to go through things and delete it? it's all how you use it and because i found myself spending too much time maintaining my facebook identity, i had to really examine who i was presenting myself for, is it really helping me network, and what i was truly getting out of it.

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  22. Hi! While I agree on most of your reasons for getting rid of Facebook, I would suggest to just keep it dormant... I mean, put a shoutout that this is an inactive account or something, because you'd never know, you may want to get it back... it's nice to have our old contacts still there... Our account, once deactivated stays there for a while, you may reactive it when you change your mind, but it gets permanently deleted if untouched for long, I suggest you just keep it dormant for awhile :)

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  23. lol, love this blog...myspace had died, and so is facebook. Its pretty bad when you start only contacting most of your family via facebook, then realize how they are having a much better life than me!!!!! Thanks for the great post!

    www.singlemotherscandoitall.blogspot.com

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  24. I couldn't agree with you more. I have an account but don't check it. If something really important happens, I don't want to find out via facebook. Seriously people, let's get back to real friendships.

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  25. I have honestly found myself becoming addicted to Facebook lately. Almost to the point of checking it every 5 minutes. Some posts even go to my phone. I have honestly thought about deleting my personal and just keeping my photog one, simply for networking....I dont like that fact that FB has gotten the better of me. You have given me valid points to think about. I am really going to start doing some soul searching about life and what I put into it.

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  26. Well said. I think you are ahead of the crowd & many will be drawing the same conclusions as they realize how much time they are wasting

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  27. Good for you! I quit Facebook several months ago, and I don't regret it at all.

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  28. Just how I felt when quit a couple of years ago.
    Final point was when I met an ex-colleague at the airport after my breast cancer operation. She knew about it but how - another friend talked about it on FB.
    I heard how those adult women share all the gossips - who's dating who or divorced etc.
    I thought my private life is private and I could trust people I told about my case.
    Even if it wasn't a secret some kind of respect would've been nice...at least until I was back at home again...
    But I can't control other people.

    I'm on twitter and use it mainly to promote my blog posts because most of my readers are first time visitors anyway.

    Thanks for your comment on my blog. You're most welcome to Helsinki :) or Casablanca where we now live but I'm on vacation in Helsinki until next Monday. Then back to Morocco...
    Have a great week!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Facebook really has changed society in so many ways, and while people claim it is for good, I don't believe it. Our society is so self-centered as it is, Facebook just encourages us to be even more so.
    Just Stumbled your Post:)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Just found your blog. LOVE IT! I, too, quit FB. It's strange, and a bit disconnecting, but I'm glad I did it. Now I actually talk to my friends :)

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  31. As you can see, you're not alone. I just wrote about it on my blog, actually that's how I found yours! I think it's one thing to quit for whatever your reasons are (diminishing returns, distracting from work/school/etc) and it's another thing to never have tried it and act like you're social nobility because of not trying it.

    ReplyDelete
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