Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Don't have a baby.

Thank you to everyone who offered their thoughtful responses to the latest edition of Dear Artemis: Candice, Old School/New School Mom, Stereo, Martin, Pua, Life with Kaishon, Kelli, and Lilly.

Word on the street is our friend R&C is doing just fine, the takeaway lesson being that comments on a lady’s figure too early in the game is not worth the risk of possibly misrepresenting who you actually are (respectful, considerate, and only concerned with the insides of a woman…right?).

Women are quite the complicated bunch—but not beyond reason and understanding—so keep sending your questions my way and I shall demystify some of the ways our highly evolved and intricate minds work. (Ladies, feel free to offload here, too!)

Onward, I met up with an old friend from college yesterday that I haven’t seen for almost 3 years. She is pursuing her dreams of becoming a music producer and I was so inspired by her relentless determination to go after what she knows she was made to do, no matter no long the journey may take.

The only parting piece of advice I could give her was, “Well, just make sure you don’t accidentally get pregnant.

“Sure, your boobs get really large, but unproportionally so, and you’ll have deep stretch marks on them that you won’t be able to get rid of. And even if you lose all the baby weight, your stomach never quite gets its sexy sheen and bounce back and that thick and shiny hair of yours? Buh-bye!

“You will not have time for yourself and anytime you actually do make it out of the house (on the RARE occasion), all you can talk about with your friends is how you never get out of the house. Your back will ache like an old lady’s because you have to carry around your 21 22 lb baby everywhere and that thing called romance? You’re better off not even trying anymore since once you have a baby with someone, it’s like getting married without the option of divorce.

“It takes ten minutes every time you have to explain to people how you are not a Mrs. but yes, you did have a baby. And the baby’s daddy? Yes, we did try really hard to get married but some bad things happened along the way…GGAAHH it’s just really complicated and I can’t get into it now.

“And then you’ll lose your job, become a reluctant housewife, and forever kiss goodbye your dreams of taking over the world as you spend your days mulling around and confined in a modest 2-bedroom apartment. So nice to see you again, good luck, and whatever you do, don’t have a baby.

But then I’ll see King as he looks at me with innocent eyes, so bright and eager, as if to say, “I’m lost without you, Mama.”

And I’ll look back, my eyes puffy from lack of sleep for the past five months, and whisper, “I know, baby. I’d be pretty lost right now without you, too.”



artemis_clover_king

26 comments:

  1. Oh, that is one chunky monkey! Reminds me of when my nephew was his age, lol.

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  2. wow, that was one sweet post. i think "don't have a baby" is very sound advice. it's just too much work in your early 20s.

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  3. awwwwwwwwww :) i really liked this part:
    And I’ll look back, my eyes puffy from lack of sleep for the past five months, and whisper, “I know, baby. I’d be pretty lost right now without you, too.”

    And hey, I think you still look great! :)

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  4. AWW! I love seeing pictures of King! He's got the most kissable cheeks!! :)

    Having a baby definitely changes your whole world, so it was good advice to give - babies are the biggest (but *BEST* nonetheless) distractions, and her ambitions might definitely slow down a little if she had one.

    I can't imagine life without my babies, but looking back, there are lots of things I wish I did before kids came along. Now they'll just have to wait. :)

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  5. Hi Miss! Hi King!

    I also have a 10mo baby boy at home, I leave him everyday with his grannies because i have to work. And reading mama-blogs is become my routine now. Keeps me going everyday. Yours is certainly one of my favourite. Thanks for everything you share. *mum-to-mum-hugs*

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  6. left me teary-eyed. :-)

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  7. chris I love the picture. he looks so much like EVERYONE in your family
    -val
    (well....not gogo. shhh...)

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  8. Very well put! Babies are the most difficult job that one can ever take on, but when you look at their sweet faces....you know in your heart that it is worth all of the effort that you put in. Just can't live without them once they have arrived:)

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  9. You could just drown in King's eyes! They're gorgeous!

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  10. Geez! I just wish I could hug and squeeze that little baby! So freakin' cute!

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  11. Ok with a baby that cute why wouldn't you have a baby.I totally LOL when I read about the boobs. So true!

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  12. Cute baby! Being a full-time mum is, as I can only imagine, a hard job so props to you!

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  13. Hey there! First of all - thanks for hopping over to my blog and leaving a comment. I definitely am a work in progress and I can see that you are working through some of the same emotions as I am as I realize that life if my 20s isn't what it was like on Friends. :)

    I would encourage you to check out Katie's blog - www.katieandspencer.com - she was in law school when she got pregnant and blogs about her journey into a new chapter in her life. I think you may be able to relate.

    Hang in there - I think the most important thing I've learned throughout the past couple of years is that nothing is final. Moments are just that - moments.

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  14. Now that is the right attitude. After all, our moms and dads must have sacrificed something to have us! I understand the selfish attitudes though, I used to have one myself. A baby changes all of us in the best way. I hope your friend will know that as well.

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  15. OMG!!! King is tooo cute!!! I just want to give him a hug!! :)

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  16. That is so sweet! King should read this entry one day. :)

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  17. I can't believe I've found you again - it's been a really long time since I've checked our your blog and it looks like it's changed and like a lot has changed with you too. Welcome to baby King. And I look forward to reading more about what life has thrown your way :)

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  18. Artemis, aww thank you so much! :) I love your blog - I love how there is so much truth in your writing. :) And I lllooovvveee the baby pics and this post and pretty much your whole blog (well what I have read of it already) that I am now a follower.

    I didn't know how much work P90X would be - but I have already seen results (-4Ibs in 4 days!) But if I didn't have Trav to help me, then this wouldn't be happening. I would have quit right away because honestly: I don't like to sweat.

    Anyways, keep the posts up and I'll enjoy reading them :0) Have a great weekend!

    <3 ash

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  19. *sigh* that was all so...raw, you know? beautiful post, beautiful babe and really? you're a beautiful writer! keep at it, mama!

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  20. So totally and completely delicious!

    On another note, I just sent my Gary a nice text message inspired by your snuggling post.
    It is hard to remember to show our partners love and affection sometimes. Super duper hard. I do love that man though. Goodness gracious I love him. Marriage is just SO flippin' hard.
    Wishing you the happiest Saturday night ever!

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  21. wow, a beautiful post! I just tumbled across your site and this is one thoughtful and heart-felt post. Motherhood is definitely not easy. I've contemplated on a future motherhood and I feel not ready every time.

    Good luck! Your King is just so darn cute! :)

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