The “Other Boyfriend” offers practical advice for anyone who has ever considered going after the 2-for-1 deal.
Something I really haven’t talked much about on my blog is my very close relationship with my twin sister, Carly. Being a twin is a huge part of my identity and we fall into the category of twins that have ESP and can finish each other’s sentences. I don’t expect singletons to understand—heck, our boyfriends don’t even understand—but the rule of thumb with twins is you can’t just date one of us. We’re sort of a packaged deal.
|Dennis skim boarding on a summer day.|
Guys, don’t get your hopes up. We will never fulfill your twin fantasy (you know what I’m talking about); rather, dating one of us means you automatically have the other twin in your life whether you like it or not. And usually you won’t like it.
Carly has been dating her boyfriend, Dennis, for three and a half years now. I actually introduced them (long story for another time) because I had a feeling my sister would really like him. And she did, and still does. As for Dennis and me? We’ve had our challenges from the get-go, constantly fighting for Carly's attention and time, but over the years we’ve settled into a peacefully co-existing relationship we dub as being “frenemies.”
So let’s welcome Dennis, a mid-20s aerospace engineer, as he gives the gritty truth about dating twins. Again, not nearly as sexy as it sounds.
|When I first got into photography, Carly and Dennis were my best models.|
Me: Tell us how you met Carly.
Dennis: Uh...well I went to a pool party.
Why did you choose Carly and not Artemis?
Well, I liked Carly better. Artemis seemed like a train wreck at the time. And she and Charles (her on/off ex-boyfriend) were more of a thing.
Expand on what you mean by train wreck?
Um…I think I just liked Carly better and you were off and on again with Charles.
Ok...that's fair. So what is it like dating twins?
Like having twice the drama with no added benefits. But Carly is worth it. It’s like the twins can collaborate and justify the most ridiculous thoughts. They think similarly and will agree with each other on things that only make sense to them.
Like what specifically?
Just arguments for day-to-day things only they can see eye-to-eye on.
Would you recommend dating twins?
Umm…I wouldn’t go after twins for the sake of going after twins. It is not glamorous in the least bit. But it's gotten to the point where Artemis is not annoying anymore. There was a lot of drama in the beginning because we used to fight over Carly a lot. So my advice is only go out with a twin if the other twin has a boyfriend. If you attack the situation alone, you will get overwhelmed.
|Carly and Dennis at my baby shower.|
What is the best thing about dating twins?
On party nights, you always have another couple to go out with. Assuming she has a boyfriend. Just more friends to help with parties.
What is the worst thing about dating twins?
If you date a twin and the other twin has no boyfriend.
What was so wrong when I was single?
You fight with the other twin for attention. The other twin is usually very needy because she either just broke up with a boyfriend or is going through some sort of drama. Instead of seeing the other twin occasionally, the other twin kind of tags along all of the time.
What a nightmare! Does it ever feel like you are in a crowded relationship?
No. I’d say it's more of a tug-of-war relationship. Both tugging at Carly.
You make it sound like I am very needy.
It depends. After you break up with a boyfriend or are in a rough spot with one, you are. And then it's this droning and ongoing issue with a guy. So preferably, you would have a boyfriend. Then 80% of the time you are with the boyfriend and 20% of the time you are with Carly. The percentages switch when you don't have a boyfriend.
So just make sure I'm always in a relationship.
|Carly and Dennis trying out King for size.|
Do you ever read this blog?
I don’t keep track. Primarily when Carly tells me to read something. Or I read over her shoulder.
Describe Artemis in three words.
Kind, caring mother, fun to hang out with.
OMG thank you!
But before the baby: Fun to hang out with, drama-inducing, always fighting over Carly.
Well, we were just wrestling over Carly’s time.
How has Artemis changed since having her baby?
Since you had your baby, the crazy has disappeared.
Okay, you've made your point clear. I'm a crazy drama queen. So what advice do you give other guys on dating twins?
Make sure the juice is worth the squeeze.
What is your relationship with Patrick like?
He understands what happens in the twin dynamic. We support each other. We can sympathize with each other. He's good to hang out with and there's the shared common experience.
How is your relationship with Artemis these days?
Questionable after doing this interview but before I thought it was just fine.
I think we're still good. And is King the cutest or is he the cutest?
He’s pretty damn cute. And he gets all the ladies. I don’t understand how he just spits up or poops and all the women go crazy over him. I don’t think I will ever get that.
Well, thank you for the interview Dennis. It's been real.