Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Parenting advice from Kate Gosselin.

She’s one hot mess if I’ve ever seen one.

In a weird, twisty, deep-down-in-my-soul kind of way, I’m newly fond of Kate Gosselin.

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Deer hunting and bountiful puppies is how they do!

Ugh, I know. De-friend, unfollow, blacklist me. After all the crap in her life that’s been publically and humiliatingly fleshed out for the world to judge and snicker at, there’s not much left to like about her, right? Sure, it was the asymmetric and obnoxiously trendy haircut first. Mostly harmless but throw in the nasty divorce, bodyguard scandal, overly botoxed eyes, unruly kids, AND Dancing With The Stars? She’s one hot mess if I’ve ever seen one.

And definitely not someone you'd ever take parenting advice from, huh?

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King meets one of his great grandmothers in NY.

Patrick, King, and I just got back from a luxuriously long visit to upstate New York last night and upon my return to our Los Angeles apartment, I just lost it. Like hyperventilating, hiccupping, blubbering with mascara-dripping-down-my-face LOST IT. Like Charlotte from Sex and the City 2 locking herself in her kitchen pantry to escape her relentless crying kids variety of LOST IT.

I can’t pinpoint specifically what had me jumping off the deep end but I suspect it had something to do with coming back to the daily grind of my reality as a stay-at-home mom. I love King more than I love myself but with very little family and community support in bustling L.A., raising a bitty baby is a far cry from the cozy dollhouse make-believe shiz I grew up playing with. So leaving New York where we had a lot of help from Patrick’s family to come back to L.A. was hard for me.

Somewhere between the “I can’t do this anymore”s and the “I feel so trapped in all of this” spewing out of my mouth last night, I found myself escaping to my bathroom to try to find some semblance of sanity and calm lest I completely and irreversibly scar my dear child’s life forever with my manic episode. I sat on the edge of my bathtub doing the hee-hee breathing I learned from labor and saw the image of a flawless blonde on the cover of a People magazine I’d stashed away as bathroom reading material a few weeks ago.

It was Kate Gosselin, clad in none other than a barely-there white bikini, and try as I might just stay out of her life and how she got that perfect beach body, I still proceeded to aggressively flip through the magazine to find her feature article as if my life depended on it. And considering last night, it probably did.

Back to Kate, her velvety tanned body and those abs—THOSE abs!—sent a twinge of envy as I felt the extra folds of skin on my stomach I now carry from having one child. And she had eight. Ugh. Yes, there is so much to dislike about Kate and then, nestled somewhere between her dieting advice and beauty tips, she threw in three simple words that sang like divination from the angels above: “Just keep going.”

Really, Kate? Is it that simple? Just keep going? I looked at her cover picture again, her proud smile and glittering eyes beaming with inner satisfaction, and maybe this mama DOES know a thing or two about parenthood. About life. So just keep going she says. Okay, I guess I have no other choice, I whispered to myself as I wiped my tears dry with toilet paper.

I came out of hiding and walked back to the bedroom where Patrick and King cuddled up in, my boys holding each other close while waiting for me to enter my life again as Mommy and just keep going. Just keep going, one foot in front of the other.

Just keep going.

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Cousins!

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King on Thanksgiving day.

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So many presents you'd think it were Christmas.

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Other great Grandma!

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On our flight back to sunny Cali, King celebrated the welcome warmth of the west by shedding his clothes on the plane.

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View of Los Angeles from our plane.

24 comments:

  1. Your little man is ADORABLE!!! Omg, I giggled looking at those cheeks! I am now following you from Bloggy Moms :) And the SAHM group...welcome! Hope you get a chance to visit me at www.jatyourservice.blogspot.com

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  2. Oh Artemis.

    I'm not a mommy, but even I can see that you (and Patrick) are doing a great job with King. He is a happy and healthy and gorgeous little boy and it's alright for you to feel overwhelmed now and again; you are human after all. Just remember even if we are separated by miles and miles, you do have a community (albeit an online one) who are more than willing to listen and respond :)

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  3. oh...sister!! I can so relate...we all can.

    I think in our hearts we can all find a little sympathy for Kate G too *Abs and all*

    There is no shame in breaking down! It is how we rebuild, recharge, reconnect.

    I just watched SATC2 and although I HATED the majority of the film, the one relateable scene was in the pantry which Char....

    You are a lovely writer and I'll be following from afar...waaaay over here in PA

    Gorgeous pics - your son is just perfect!

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  4. A lot of overwhelming things happened to you in such a short span of time. I think you needed that cry.

    But yeah, just keep going. :) go artemis :)

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  5. what beautiful pictures of King!

    Just Keep Going - I like that! Good advice from the hot mess herself.

    <3 Ash

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  6. Just remember that Kate Gosselin had a tummy tuck!

    "Just keep going"...that's good advice for sure! I've had more crying on the bathroom floor meltdowns than I care to admit...so you are not alone with that.

    The pictures of King are beautiful...you guys made a keeper!

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  7. Kate Gosselin bought her abs - she had it surgically.

    Just keep going is true, for sure. Maybe try to get out more? You guys are so beautiful as a family, your child is gorgeous. Maybe try to get yourself some time to be yourself, go out with the girls, do something reckless... I dunno. But find time to find yourself, or you'll get lost in your doll house.

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  8. people hate on kate but her gig is tough.

    i love my babes and i'm so happy you're back. keep posting more, please!

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  9. I may not have children yet, but I completely understand the rush of being overwhelmed, unsure where to go. Sometimes it's better to just let it all out, not knowing why it's there or when it'll stop. At least then there's no answer other than "It's life. Make the best of it."

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  10. Yup, that's what we have to do... just keep going. I'm sure my bathroom, if it could talk, could share plenty about the bawl sessions it had hosted. :)

    Those big round eyes of his will be my undoing! Seriously, girl, King has the most gorgeous pair ever.

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  11. Good to see you are posting again. I've missed my Artemis reads.

    -L.K.

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  12. I'm just so glad you're back. I was having withdrawals from reading your blog!! xoxo

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  13. thank you everyone for your sweet comments! i always feel vulnerable posting about my off days but you guys are such an encouragement to me. :)

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  14. Can I tell you something crazy? When I had Ari, I had no idea what I was doing. I'd never babysat for a child under the age of six. During the day, I started watching Jon & Kate Plus 8 (way before they got divorced) and it gave me motivation to keep going. Watching Kate handle her brood with was inspiring. If she could do it with eight, I could do it with one. I hear you. Everyone has moments of freaking out.

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