Sunday, December 19, 2010

The party that almost never was.

A true story about throwing a gingerbread house-making event no one shows up for. No, really.

The weather in Los Angeles has taken a drastic turn for the worst as a torrential rainstorm has replaced our once famously arid and sunny climate. It’s quite comical watching Californians dramatically dodge the bullet-like downpour as we dash outside for last-minute holiday shopping, shielding our precious Brazilian blowouts with nothing more than two copies of yesterday’s newspapers. Owning an umbrella is such a faux pas around these parts. Like, toh-tally.

gingerbread_01

Two weeks ago, however, we were basking in our usual December sun when it was spontaneously decided by my young entrepreneur club that a last-minute gingerbread house-making party HAD to be on our social calendar before year-end. “Sure, why not?” I seconded the proposal. “And Patrick and I can host it!”

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We’ve done similar parties in the past and have had plenty of people show up for the candy-studded festivities. Putting together this particular fete seemed it would be a slam-dunk of a success as friends old and new gather around our non-existent fireplace to sip artificially flavored eggnog and reminisce about the good old times had in college. A guaranteed success. Yep.

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I should have known better when out of the 40 or so Evites sent out, we received only a handful of “maybe’s” and not much more. No, that can’t be right, I tried to justify in my head. Hot cider, mulled wine, and spiced cake galore—I mean, who WOULDN’T want to come? I began to obsessively refresh my browser in the weeks leading up to the event but it didn’t make much of a difference. The numbers never budged. Except that one time a “maybe” changed his response to a “no.”

gingerbread_06

Like waking up on your birthday and seeing only one friend had remembered to wish you a “Happy Birthday” on your Facebook wall, I then started to make excuses for all the people that hadn’t responded yet. The Internet MUST be down in a lot of places, I told myself. “Or people just aren’t coming,” Patrick, ever my voice of reason, interrupted my thoughts.

This morning, the day of our fated soiree, Patrick reminded me again we probably wouldn’t have much of a party if no one has confirmed they were coming. “No, you don’t understand,” I explained. “People in L.A. just don’t RSVP for anything anymore. But they will still come,” I was all too sure. So graham crackers and candy were bought, sangria and hors d’oeuvres were made, and we even whipped up a big batch of edible cement to glue the gingerbread houses together.

gingerbread_05

And then…drum roll please…NO. ONE. SHOWED. UP. Like that miserable scene from Valentine’s Day, waiting for your own party to start is worse than having your teeth pulled at the dentist. I’ve had it done so trust me, I know.

gingerbread_04
I tawt we were having fwends over.

Almost an hour and a half later, we had two brave soldiers come to our door and we welcomed them like an over-zealous puppy left alone at home too long. Oh how we fussed and fussed over our two sole guests as if they were kings and queens. I was so thankful they came if I’d not had a baby yet, I would have promised my first-born child to their tender souls.

So this year is really turning out to be a year of first’s for me: First time I’ve had a baby, first time I’ve been laid off from a job, and first time I threw a party (almost) no one showed up for. But, I keep telling myself, it’s all that nasty rain we’ve been getting.

It MUST have been the darned weather. It must be. It...

Dagummit.

18 comments:

  1. omg, i laughed through this WHOLE thing. god bless our souls.

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  2. I wouldn't call it a complete failure. Looks like you had a couple good houses. Is that second one a castle? What a great idea! ;)

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  3. That's hilarious. At least you had two people come over, right? Those gingerbread houses looks delicious, oh my god!!!

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  4. I am so sorry that no one showed. :( Last year, I remember being so envious when I saw the pictures from the party. In fact, I am still envious even though no one showed up today because I love small, intimate gatherings. In my opinion, they are the best!

    My work schedule has been really hounding me. Tomorrow, I'll be telling 3 out of 6 job candidates that they will not go onto the final round of interviews, and after I finished the check in call with my student: I dug in and reviewed everyone's resumes, cover letters, and notes one last time just to make sure I wasn't making any mistakes. :( I'm so sorry I wasn't there today and my heart goes out to you. I really wish I could have been there. - David

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  5. It's not you, It's been pissin rain for the last 3 day's. People in LA are a little baffled, they were waiting for an Ark to take them to your party. Everything looks so lovely, their loss.

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  6. I would've LOVED to come! LOL! I need someone to get me going with Christmas being just 5 days away, and this would've been the perfect thing to do. :) So sorry you had such a crappy turnout. King's expression in that photo is priceless!! Cute, cute, cute.

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  7. Awww...not a failure. :) The rain made everyone nuts and forget what the heck was going on prior to the rain lol.
    Oh but King's cheekies...I just wanna smoosh them lol.

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  8. I always think it's hilarious to hear how sunnier climates cope with weather. Living in Wisconsin has allowed me to get used to pretty much everything but hurricanes and earthquakes. Whenever I move from here, I hope I keep those smarts. They seem pretty valuable.

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  9. If I were in L.A., I would have TOTALLY shown up for your amazing gingerbread house party. People don't know what they missed. Hot cider and gingerbread? I mean come on people! New Yorkers would have died for that combination!

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  10. I have had nightmarish accounts of similar stories. As long as you saw your commitment through, I'd say you did a good thing! And if nothing else, you got a gREAT post out of it!

    -L.K.

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  11. i love the way you write. you are so funny and entertaining!

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  12. I would've been so there with my two kids in tow. Where was my e-vite? ;p Oh, and don't forget the tickets, please.

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  13. This totally made me laugh. And remember why I never throw parties.

    Thank you for stopping by my blog and offering your support over the download issue!

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  14. If only I was in LA, I would have come! :) I've never built a gingerbread house :)

    nice gingerbread house btw :D

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  15. Oh, I know this feeling! This happened to me last year... to make it worse, my Ex's friends all showed up to the party. Mine? Not a one.

    Hope you guys have a great holiday! King is getting SO big!

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  16. : ) all I know is that your gingerbread housemaking skills are out of this world fantastic. Wowza.

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  17. I so would have been there rain or no rain... it sounds (and looks) like it was so fun! That picture of King is too cute!

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